Juggling Act

I never realized how challenging it is to be a single parent, not until I became one earlier this year.  It was an incredible adjustment, mostly because you realize that you have no backup.  Sure, you can call a friend or a relative if you really need help, and heaven knows I have.  But it’s the day-to-day mundane things that you take for granted when there are two parents in the house that aren’t so easy when it’s just you. 

When it’s just you and the kids, and they’re hungry and ready to eat, there’s no one there to watch them while you make a quick trip to the grocery store because you forgot eggs or milk or hot dog buns.  And taking the kids when they’re tired or hungry is the kind of pain you don’t want.  Anyone who’s ever had a child throw a fit at the store can appreciate how fun that experience is.

So, when planning fails, and it WILL occasionally fail, improvisation becomes a skill and the children learn new food combinations (or lack of combinations as the case may be).  Tacos made with no taco seasoning.   Hamburgers served on hot dog buns.  Spaghetti with a side of peaches.  Pancakes without syrup.  NO SYRUP??  WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SYRUP?? 

“Maybe a monster ate it and then went poop,” four-year-old Ethan says, and laughs.  His favorite jokes center around poop.  Like:
           “Knock knock.” 
           “Who’s there?”
           “Poop.”
           “Poop who?” 
           “Poop on your head!” 
           His eyes dance as he laughs at his poop jokes and I don’t dare rob him of his joy simply because I’m not a fan of the word “poop.”  He is happy and beautiful and that is enough.  It will always be enough.

 “I think maybe you forgot to buy syrup at the store, Dad,” five-year-old Jackson says.  “I even told you to buy it.”

“You didn’t tell me to buy it,” I reply.

“Yes I did!  I always tell you to buy things and you never do!”
          He does tell me to buy things, but most of his suggestions revolve around toys.  Rarely do his suggestions have anything to do with food, so I’m pretty sure he never mentioned anything about buying syrup. 

And then there’s trying to take a shower. How do you make sure that your kids don’t kill themselves or each other while you’re in the shower?  What if the five-year-old unlocks the front door and they wander off? 
          Wait, did someone say something?  Oh, I should install childproof locks?  Thanks for the advice, buddy.  Wait, you don’t have kids, do you?  Shut up, then. 
          Or, what if, while you’re showering, one of the kids starts running around the house with pens in his hands, surely destined to trip and gouge his eyes out?  What kind of lousy parent are you if you dare to shower? 
          Wait, more advice from the guy who has no kids?  Telling me to take a shower before the kids wake up?  Or keep every conceivable dangerous implement under lock and key?  Go have some kids, stay awake all night when one of them is sick, finally succeed in getting him to go to sleep and just as you’re finally dozing off at 5:30 am, your oldest wakes up because he’s an early riser and wants you to go downstairs to play with him.  Do all that, and then we’ll talk about your bright ideas.


Please "like" Single With Kids on Facebook and recommend this site to your Facebook friends. You know, if you want. No biggie. But it'd be really awesome if you did.