I feel bad when I break a date or don’t call or text or e-mail or snail mail or telegram or smoke signal or whatever, but when your child needs you, you have this irrepressible urge to rush to him. Unless you have a daughter, which, in that case, you’d have an irrepressible urge to rush to her. (Why do I get so caught up in which pronoun gender to use? I don’t know. I really hate using “they” as a gender neutral pronoun when I’m only referring to a single person and using “him” to refer to either a male or a female just does not seem appropriate anymore. It’s a quandary, a Gordian Knot for which I have no sword. But I digress.)
Logistics aside, who to date is a tad bit more complicated when you have kids. You don't want to bring just anyone around your children. Before I had kids, who I dated was simply a matter of:
1. Is she hot?
2. Can I tolerate her annoying habits?
3. Is she interested in me?
If the answers to all three were in the affirmative, I was in a relationship, my friends. But now that I have three sons, the questions are:
1. Is she hot?
2. Can I tolerate her annoying habits?
3. Is she interested in me?
4. Would my children like her if I gave her the opportunity to meet them? (she will obviously like them, unless she’s a complete idiot), and
5. Can she intelligently discuss the merits and general history of the pistol formation?
Why must she understand the pistol offense? Did I not mention that I have three sons?
Please "like" Single With Kids on Facebook and recommend this site to your Facebook friends. You know, if you want. No biggie. But it'd be really awesome if you did.
Please "like" Single With Kids on Facebook and recommend this site to your Facebook friends. You know, if you want. No biggie. But it'd be really awesome if you did.
I was dating a guy who never had kids. I told him from the beginning that my kids are my priority, and he said he understood. Unfortunately he didn't understand....after canceling twice in a row because one or both of the kids were sick he was upset about it. SI I told him to go find someone without kids to date. It's ok though, I like spending Friday and Saturday nights at home with my kids!!
ReplyDeleteIf I had a dollar for every text or phone call I didn't immediately respond to, ha, I'd be rich. I think what a lot of "Non-Parents" don't see is that while they are looking for a special kind of love we (as Parents) have already found it. Granted I am very scared about dating and have not since I left my daughters father a year ago, these little "heeello, u there?" text come from friends and family who don't have kids, its still a pain when they do not realize that, well kissing a boo boo is a little more important then answering a "Hey, what's up?" text. So I may not be able to relate to the dating part but I surely know exactly how you feel when someone just, doesn't get it!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that dating and being a single parent don't always work well together. I have had to cancel many dates due to something coming up with my girls. I wish I had a good working relationship with my ex as you do, it would make it so much easier! Kudos to you and your ex!
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